Lost

Look at everyone that surrounds you closely.

What do you see?

I see pain, misery, broken-hearted, lost soul, solitary and darkness. These are some of the most painful perplexity of life. Going through it with these egos can only bring one thing - depression. Yes D-E-P-R-E-S-S-I-O-N ! The causes of depression will lead one to aloofness and because of that, one will miss out the "good" things in life. As we all know, there are good and bad things in life - the bright and dark side of one's soul.

There are different types of people in the world, each carrying distinct characters of their own but there are only two types of people in this world. One is the one that live life on the bright side and the other one living in the dark. I am in between of these two, but occasionally I tend to lean towards the dark side of life. I can't really tell why but I think it is all due to the work of the mind. Our mind is link to the brain and connects to our nerves/senses and because of that it automatically stores images/texts/speeches from what we see/hear. Largely due to the work of our nerves/senses, we become emotional and because we are emotional, we take things too seriously and find it difficult to let go of certain things. Whereas, people on the brighter side are less emotional and find it easier to let things go: let bygones be bygones.

I often wonder how I can prevent myself from getting too emotional and be a "lighter" person with less worries. A few options came up: [1] Come out more often and meet new people for inspirations, [2] Organise gatherings or attend parties, [3] Attend yoga/pilates classes to free your mind, [4] Join aerobic classes to lose weight (trust me, you will feel lighter and fresher after a while), [5] Hang out with people who take life less, [6] Go for vacations (if your wallet allows), [7] Be playful, [8] Talk about less serious stuff, like joke about how the whole crowd reacted when your skirts/pants fell off when you stood up and cheered for your school's victory from the spectator's seat! [9] Learn and I mean really learn and take the time to learn to let bygones be bygones and finally [10] Get your gears working and Try to be a "lighter" person by living on the bright side.

It's a long list but it makes sense, doesn't it? I haven't tried any of it...just yet! But I will and I'm positive with the outcome about being a lighter person living on the brighter side of life. Although it's going to take some time to accomplish all of that but I will take it slow and steady for the sake of making my life easier.

Life is and should be beautiful. Get out of the roof and take beautiful pictures of life. Explore the beauty of nature and experiment with angles and lighting, same goes for life - explore life's beauty and experiment with different attitude and exposure. Like I've said earlier on, I tend to lean towards the darker side of life, and from time to time I find it tiring, worthless and pathetic. I mean life shouldn't really be lived that way. I certainly don’t want my life to end in such a pathetic way. Really, it's pathetic! It's making me unfit for my opponent - My future. Which means everything I do now will lead to the consequences of my future and to avoid ending my life pathetically, anything that my bare hands can lay on should be of good worth and meaningful.

Above all else, I want to remember my life in terms of friendship and fun, of laughter and love, of good times and good people. I want to be able to walk out of my misery and come back fresh.

What i've learned to accept

As an adult who has gone through the low-down shits of relationships and up again, we, women still have doubts on how to impress or to understand what we are to men. We scratched our hair out figuring what is going inside the teeny weeny pea-sized brain of theirs. Although metaphorically speaking, men failed miserably at expressing their emotions; we have to admit that their sense of "coolness" is what appeals to us.

And because of his "coolness" and a "bullet-proof heart", we failed to believe there is a reason for all that has happened. Because we chose to dwell so much into believing that there has been a change of heart, we failed to see what has been neglected in the relationship and not a change of heart. Although there are times when you feel like screwing him (the one that you fancy and he didn't give you a second look) for making you look so desperately needy (although in most cases it is a fact! *gasp*), you have to admit that you are a "too easy" prey.

So, for the sake of keeping the dignity and pride we deserve, please study the list i've gathered from Habits That Wreck Your Relationship. Because i know how much dignity i had lost over the years that i do not wish for the same things to happen again to myself or any other innocent women. Let's dig into what men are thinking and how to avoid another breakdown where we can easily learn from this list.

1. Men have a tendency to really like a low-maintenance girls when it comes to relationship. Because men are very lazy in general and it's exhausting when they need to work so hard to make someone and happy calm them down every day.
2. If you and your partner believe that love means acceptance,  pushing him to change and criticizing him is going to send him the opposite message.
3. While the occasional mood swing can and should be forgiven being in a relationship with someone whose bad moods outnumber her good ones can make a man run for cover.
4. Spending time with your guy is one of the best parts of being in a relationship, but there's a big difference between bonding and joining at the hip. Many men are attracted to secure, independent women.
5. Accusing your men of cheating and questioning his wherebabouts every time he walks in will have him feeling controlled, manipulated and insulted. Jealousy in a relationship, or even personally, is the spiritual equivalent of dumping hydrochloric acid on the person.
6. People tend to get lazy in their relationships, and while it is good to be comfortable, no one wants to be boring or to be bored. Men love to be seduced and romanced as much as we do, and a part of what makes the courtship phase of relationships so fun is the experience of uncovering the mystery of another and trying new things together.  

Now after reading this, doesn't it sound so true? It is too real to notice it. We have all been so blinded by things that revolve around us that we have forgotten to notice all these traits and signs. Don't worry, it is never too late to learn. For everyday is a new lesson.

I am proud to say, Today i've learned to accept...

Stay Strong and be Hopeful

Liking someone is easy but loving someone can be so difficult and stressful. To those that give out so much and receive so little, welcome to my world.

I am a Sagittarius by sign. The traits of a Sagittarius includes Fun, Optimist, Good-natured, Sociable, Freedom, Flirting and Spiritual. I don't see myself coming close to any except Freedom and Flirting. I enjoy Freedom and Flirting but i tend to bind my partner from it. Call me selfish but I like to know that my partner is 100% faithful to me and I am all that he sees and seeks. But too clingy can be stressful and troublesome too. Which is why in recent years i've loosen the rope so that i can go out and hang out more. All for the benefits of everyone.

In recent weeks, i've started chatting with a net friend whom i've known for about 10years. Nothing ever sparks mainly because we hardly have time to double click on one another for chats. This time, i initiated the chat. Although he sounds a little bit aloof, he is still very much friendly as before. But it's ok since it's been so many years, it's always good to start new and fresh.

Sometimes no matter how hard you try to make something work or for someone to like you just as much as you like them, it just won't work. I don't know why but it just don't. I know it's sad and heart-breaking that the other person doesn't feel you. But they say persistence pays off if you are hopeful.

Based on my previous experiences, persistence never paid off. It's either i gave up too easily or being hopeful really didn't do much to boost the charm...maybe next time i should stay strong and hold on.

Until then, I wish all the couples who made it through the battle field, to stay strong and a happy life ahead. For all the battles you won, there will be more wars ahead.

Slaves of Love

Love... is a many splendour thing. It makes you do crazy stuffs. It makes you weak and fluffy. It makes you laugh. It makes you cry. It makes you desperate and impulsive.

Love is an ecstacy of the mind and heartbeat. For all that it did, people are still willing to do anything for the sake of proving love. These people are slaves of love and so am I.

26th

Turning 26 is another celebration to be a year older and perhaps a year wiser. I couldn't say that we havent learnt anything in the 26th years of our life but it has, in certain radical ways, transformed us bit by bit to unnoticeably defined young adults of our age. Welcome to the era of the new millenium, the batch of 80s!

Here's wishing my Love a Happy Belated Birthday. . .

what do YOU want

I was tuning into pilihan, my everyday-to-work routine, when DJ Izan was on air asking singletons "what do you look for in a girl/guy?" Many called in and in fact it was the girls who called in to answer. Funny, witty and hilarous.

"I want to find someone who can make me laugh"
"I'm attached now but i was single before. can i take part to answer your question?"
"I am looking for someone kind, romantic and thoughtful"
and etc.

It got me into deep thinking...Does love really conquers all? What happens to the materialistic options like looking for someone who could provide them with a better future? Could these callers be too young or naive to understand the importance of good financial future that they are blinded by searching for true love to notice it?

I'm turning 26 end of the year. 10 years ago I was young and full of innocence, just like these callers. I had exactly the same thought like them until i found my love 5yrs 11mths ago. My love and I went through (3/4) bucket full of happiness and love...(1/4) bucket of tears and sorrow. And all of that, we only began to grow up this year. This years' February made me realise how important it is to have savings and securing a good career.

I almost cried my heart out thinking of the bleak future we have but what can we really do. What was done couldn't be undone now. All we could is to blame it on our spendthrift yesteryears and make sure we don't repeat these mistakes again in the coming future. But how much years have we got left to save before we get married and have children to feed and educate them and so forth...?

Life is really playing tricks on us.
Life is too short to earn big bucks.
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...
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The Bruneian Blogging Community

I didn't know my country has its own blogging community until i stumbled upon their site just recently. Well, I am proud to say i am now member of the Bruneian Blogging Community !